I always thought when I had children I would be a stay-at-home mom like my own mom was. I loved coming home to fresh baked cookies and Oprah Winfrey on the TV. My Mom was usually found in our little kitchen on Lemon Street watching for us to walk into the backyard. (I do admit sometimes I secretly wished I could be a "latch key" kid like some of my friends, but that changed after my brother and I found a squirrel in our house on the one day my mom was not home after school. Eee!)
When Graham was born I took 12 weeks off of work. At first I was in baby fog and struggling to survive on lack of sleep then I got really edgey being home so I arranged many outings for lunches, coffee, etc. Then my mom made a good point that I probably needed to stay home for about a week to get Graham on a schedule of sorts. So, I did stay home and I started to enjoy being home. We got into a routine of leisurely breakfasts and daytime TV before Graham's first nap. I ate so much healthier, because I was at home and it was just not as convenient to run to Mc Donalds with a newborn as it is to rush out on a lunch break from work. We also took tons of walks with Tootsie, did lots of baby laundry, blogged a bunch and had many visitors. I began to love being home in my own space, setting my own schedule and being with my son.
Going back to work was very hard for me. In my head I had planned to stay home with Graham (and possible future children) until kindergarten. I had also planned to get a part-time job doing something that I really enjoy--like baking or selling for an at-home business like Pampered Chef. But thanks to my past health history (cancer) I need health insurance and my husband's family health insurance is $1,100 per month. That is not financially doable for us, so I resumed my job and cut my hours down to part-time (32 per week). Just enough that I have an extra day at home per week with Graham and we can retain full health insurance.
And, we found an in-home daycare who happened to be a relative of a good friend. She would watch Graham and her own daughter, and would only charge for days Graham attended daycare. That made it possible for Graham to stay home with Matthew over the summer. (And, it was awesome for Graham to be home with his dad. They truly bonded. I really feel it's important for a parents to be home with the children. Not necessarily the mom, because dads are just as good and I know my son relished the time his dad was home with him to teach him how to sit up, roll over and fix trucks.)
Things were going swell until two weeks ago when our daycare provider had some family issues come up and decided to stop doing daycare. I was glad for the honesty, but freaking out about timing since Matthew started back to teaching last week. So during a whirlwind week we interviewed four in-home daycare providers in our neighborhood. I asked friends for question suggestions and what to look for at daycares. It became apparent right away whether or not I felt comfortable sending my child into the provider's home. Our first interview left me feeling very uneasy, our second and third were great and the fourth was a bit iffy.
When it came down to decision time Matthew and I agreed on our two favorites, but our first choice was having some health issues and not sure if/when she could take Graham. Luckily, our second choice had an opening right away and after picking Graham up from his first day of daycare yesterday I know we made a good choice. Our second choice provider is a real winner and is now my first choice pick. She is kind, gentle and has a small number of children in her home.
And, eventually I am hoping to be able to stay home full-time with Graham. But until then I am thankful that I can help provide for my family, because that's what being a family means. I know I would not feel right staying home and allowing the state to take care of my family's health insurance. That is not how I was raised nor do I even see that as an option. So, for now Graham will go to daycare and enjoy being around other kids (and dogs) and both Matthew and I will do our parts to provide for our family, because that's what family does.
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