Part II in the Dad Series features my former boss Phil. He was the editor of the newspaper when I was hired fresh out of college, and is still a good friend and advice giver.
1) Name and Age: Phil, 43
2) Kids' Ages: 13 and 10
3) When did you first relate to the word Dad? (Was it when someone called you dad?) Explain how you felt.
The first time it hit me is when Cheryl, my wife, was pregnant and told me: “you’re going to be a dad.” After I woke up from fainting, it didn’t sink in again until Ben was born. I think the word “dad” really means something when you drop your kids off someplace – school, daycare, a friend’s house, etc. “Goodbye, Dad” or “Hey, dad!” when you pick them up means a lot.
4) What is your favorite aspect of fatherhood?
Playing catch with Ben or reading with Abbie. I didn’t have a dad growing up so those things weren’t present in my life, so I try to make sure I do the little things best with my kids.
5) What is your least favorite aspect of fatherhood?
Discipline. I’m fortunate to have two great kids but when they do something wrong, I should be the last person to issue a punishment because I renege on it pretty quickly.
6) Who is a dad you idolize/look up to/admire?
There’s a guy from my hometown, Curtis Hall. He’s a few years older than me and I know that he didn’t have the greatest childhood growing up. Several years ago, I remember standing behind him at a checkout line at the convenience store just out of town. I was driving back to college and his kids were with him, asking if they could get a treat. He’s a big, tough-looking guy but he was more than just a regular dad in that moment with his kids. He made me want to be able to do that for my kids someday. I’ve thought about that moment all the times my kids have been with me, waiting in a checkout line and they want a treat. “Of course you can, but just one. And don’t tell your mom.”
7) Do you think dads ever get enough sleep?
Yes, until they have teenaged daughters.
8) What advice do you have for new dads?
Tell your kids you love them and let them know how proud you are. My kids are double digits in age and if I drop them off somewhere, I tell them “I love you” all the time. When they’re younger, they’d yell it back. The older they get, they start to mumble it. I continue to yell it until they smile from knowing or sheer embarrassment.
9) What is your easiest go-to dinner when your wife is not home?
Corn dogs or Jimmy Dean’s Sausage on a Stick. It’s a delicacy in the Carter household.
10) What is your favorite non-dadthing to do?
I like to play golf. But both of my kids are at an age where they’re interested and have started playing, too. This means I have to quit swearing or get better at golf. I also like to run and my kids are old enough now where that’s not cool, so I suppose that buys me some alone time.
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